Sunday, August 26, 2012

thesis: the drama

pfuuuhhhh! *blowing the dust*

Been so long. Not that i didn't write anything. I wrote, I wrote my thesis :p
For me, it was a long and painful journey. I didn't expect that many unexpected events happened along the way.

First, I started my thesis internship on February 1st and I need to finish my thesis on June 1st which means I only have 4 months. If not, I should extend my study and pay the tuition fee by myself. I don't want that. My defense was actually already scheduled on 1st of July but for the administration and reading process by the examiners then the deadline was one month before the defense.

On the first week, my manager, who interviewed me for the intern position and also being my second company supervisor, told me his resignation. I wasn't really worry back then because I still had my first company supervisor although he was a bit busier than my manager. In mid of March, my manager left the office for two weeks vacation to Bali (He loves Bali so much. He always mentioned it every time we talked). Before he left, I discussed both with my manager and my first supervisor about my topic but until end of March, I still had not figured out what my topic was. My university supervisor kept rejecting the proposed topic. I remembered I was really stressed and had dreams about thesis for days.

In early April, a sad news flew from my home town. My grandfather passed away. This was the third time I couldn't attend my grandparents funeral. I felt grateful that I met him in the summer break last year. That was the last time I saw him. Finally by the end of April, the topic was settled. But I got a little surprise from my university supervisor: he could not supervise me until end of May because of his overloaded work. Great.

In early May, I heard the news that my manager passed away, he got a heart attack in Bali. I know that people come and go, but this was too weird for me. I mean, somebody that I used to see everyday, he was gone now.  For some time, it didn't feel real.

With the time I had left, I wrote my thesis everyday. But then, I still couldn't make it on June 1st. I asked for a deadline extension and they gave me until the third week of June. A bit relieved, I tried to finish it on time. On the third week, I managed to deliver my final thesis to my university supervisor. Then I was starting to worry about my defense.

In my program, they arranged the defense in Greece. The defense was held before a one week summer school and the graduation day after the summer school. My family were planning to come too for my graduation day. After that, we will travel together. It looked like a good plan, but on the defense day...

I didn't pass.
Yes, I failed my defense.
I could not graduate that week.
I could not get my diploma.
They said I needed to work more for my thesis.
For several days, I still felt that this was just a dream. A very very very bad dream. But the reality slapped me again every time. It was real.

I was really sad and shocked. I never heard people failed their master defense. But it happened to me. What made it even sadder was the fact that my family flew from Indonesia to attend my graduation day. And I didn't graduate.

Could it be worse?

O yeah.

My university supervisor went on vacation right after the summer school for one month. Oh well.

Back from Greece, I was still a bit shocked. Every morning I still need to wake up, go to work, and write my thesis. It was hard to get up on my feet again. But I had no choice, I needed to push myself and put myself back together.

Long story short, I managed again to deliver my thesis and they arranged my second the defense on August 17th. So, in 1945, Indonesia claimed their independence from the Dutch government. In 2012, I passed my defense and officially deregistered from a Dutch university. Such an epic day.

Everything happened so fast, sometimes I still can't believe I finished my master.

Anyway, finally everything worked out well and I'm home again.
Waiting for whatever tomorrow will bring.

3 komentar:

Uti said...

Otsukare samadeshita!

My deep condolences for the sad news,
and congratulation for the graduation. :)

Zakka Fauzan Muhammad said...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... berat pisan perjuangan... selamat btw pra :)

Betsy E. Bridges said...

Your story about your thesis writing journey is amazing, Rani! Well, most people do say that writing thesis paper is one of the most difficult tasks they’ve done. There are times when writers block would visit you, and other time that you get distracted with your surroundings. Anyway, I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t pass.